I Can’t to What If? to I Can…Why Mindset Matters
We tell ourselves stories about what we can and can’t do. These stories usually start from a place of truth and then spiral out of control. We often let fear convince us that we’re not capable or able to do certain things. What if? What if we could choose to see things about ourselves differently? What if we could prove ourselves wrong? What if we could change our story?
We Can!
For years I’ve told myself that I can’t workout. I had a full hip replacement that didn’t heal right, a number of scar tissue inducing abdominal surgeries, torn ligaments in my ankle, bursitis and impingement in my shoulder, degenerative disc disease, and an underlying autoimmune issue. Those are real, right? But, here’s the thing, I let my mind make such a masterpiece of the reasons I couldn’t that I forgot what I could do. I love to go for walks, I love to play a pick up game of soccer or wiffle ball in the yard, I love being out in nature, I love to feel fit. I told myself that I couldn’t for so long that it became second nature to say, “no” to a sit up, a hike or a workout but guess what? I started to see and feel the effects of not moving enough. Sure, I was still “active”, I mean, I have a 10 year old that I run around with but my body knew I’d stopped even if my mind didn’t. An older friend is fond of saying, “If you stop moving, you stop moving.” I never fully grasped how true that was. It goes hand-in-hand with, “Nothing changes, if nothing changes.”
I coach my clients to find one thing that they can change right now to get a step closer to where they want to be and I clearly wasn’t heeding my own advice. I was finding the “why not’s” instead of the “I can’s”. It became easier (read more comfortable) to believe the story that I had created - to believe that I couldn’t. The mind is a funny thing. It has the power to rule our worlds. I often tell my kids that what we feed our brains is the story that our brains will believe. Imagine that simply by slightly shifting that story our life could change! The brain is an amazing muscle - tell it something enough and that’s its go to response - tell it something different and get a different response.
I really noticed how my mindset was getting the better of me when I heard an ad on my car radio about a veteran, who was an amputee, talking about running the Boston Marathon. Holy Shit! He has no leg but he’s running a marathon! The same week my friend’s gym was having a fundraiser to raise money for a little boy in town who was battling cancer. I wanted to sign up to do a spin class but was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it because that was the story I’d been telling myself for so long. I then thought about that brave little warrior who was kicking cancer’s ass every week and getting up with grace and gumption. I could just donate the money… but this little guy really shook me up. He was fighting for his life, I could get on a fucking spin bike for 45 minutes. I’m not sure which thing was the catalyst but the combination kicked me into gear. I signed up, I showed up, I spun! And then, I settled back into my comfortable story again. What the hell? I’m ready, I know I am then why aren’t I moving forward with more movement?
Mindset Matters but it doesn’t change things overnight. It takes consistency and repetition to change deeply embedded habits. Not going to the gym was simply a bad habit that I had to change. Interesting right? I needed a new starting point and a new narrative to get me going. I chose to do the Arbonne 30 days to Healthy Living (I’d done it before and lost 20lbs). I also linked up with a walking buddy and we’ve been holding each other accountable to get a couple of miles in every day. I’ll say that the weight loss isn’t coming but the feeling fit part is so, I’m sticking with it. I asked my husband for a gym membership for Mother’s Day and I started going last week. I'm 3 group fitness classes in and I’m proud of myself! Every day I have a choice to move or not to move! I’m choosing to move because aches and pains and all, it’s better than the alternative.
So, I guess what I’m saying is, “What story have you been telling yourself?” What things do you say, “I can’t” to? What if? What if you told yourself, “I can”!
Need an accountability partner? Someone to push you outside of your comfort zone and help you envision what’s possible for you? As your coach, I hold space for you to explore where you are and realize where you want to be. I then help you create your roadmap to your success and walk beside you as you put it into action! Let me help you write a new story.
Reach out if you want to turn your I can’t into an I can!
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